part three.

i left the interview a little upset. i was counting on a job offer that day and all i got was a request for a working interview early in the following week. i just wanted to find something secure. i hated (still hate) applying for jobs and going on interviews and i just knew this would be the end to my search. no luck.

when i got home i got a call from my aunt. she works at the district office from which i graduated from. shes in charge of classified personnel. anyways she had told the people around her office about me. that was i graduating with a biology education degree, but she also knew that i wasnt interested in teaching right away. she called me anyhow. seems that she had heard about a job opening at a high school in the district. the teacher had left to pursue a career in forensics an the students had had subs since dec. they wanted someone to come in at the beginning of the 2nd semester and take over the year long courses. since i was qualified and certified to teach the subjects (biology and anatomy), she called me despite my disinterest in teaching.

i cried for a week after that trying to decide what to do. i would be okay with it. convinced that i would be alright. that i would do a job good. then i would look at the schedule ahead or realize that i really didnt know what i was doing and get freaked out again. and i mean really freaked out. crying uncontrollably, hyperventilating. sitting there with the phone in my hand, the number for the hiring lady already dialed, trying to get up the courage to press send so i could tell her i didnt want it. that i had changed my mind. that week was torture.

but i took the job anyways.